I'm sure we've all, at some point, received spam emails. But what really takes the cake are the annoying messages that my phone service provider sends me, unfailingly, at least 5-7 times a day, and the phone calls that I have to take, which are twice that number.
If what half of what Vodafone sent me was true, I'd have been able to know my 'IQ' by just texting them the first letter of my name, would've known the name of my beloved by giving them my birthdate, would have an instant cure for any hair-related issue, especially if I had a bludgeoning bald spot, and of course, would have been able to have a long heart-to-heart with the likes of Sunny Leone, Shah Rukh Khan, and basically every actor/actress who feels for my lack of a love life and teenage problems, and weight issues and less-than-stellar Maths marks...
So one day I get a text, which goes, 'Do you want to add some extra inches to your height? Tired of being dwarfed by everyone? Then... blah blah blah...'
People don't dwarf me! I dwarf people, both in terms of height and width! And here in West Bengal where the average height is 5 foot 5, it's easy to tower over people with just a 5 foot 10!
There are also the anonymous texts which tell me to call Mona/Urmila/Lisa because she felt sad that I hadn't 'returned her call', all the time referring to me as 'Sir'! I mean, come ON. Never mind the gender mix-up, this is a hot-blooded oestrogen-charged heterosexual girl RIGHT here!
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