Before I begin, let me acquaint you with the education system in most schools of India. There are usually 3 classes before class 1, all different stages of kindergarten. We proceed from drooling over colourful toys to learning to recognize its shape. I know, it makes us feel pretty important to say, 'Damn, girl, I bet my diaper-clad butt that it's a circle.' Gradually we learn the alphabet ('Sheesh, who knew 'Xylophone' was a word?!'), and then, we leap from being Preschoolers to uniformed, grinning School kids. Now, from class 1 to 5, we have subjects like English Language, English Literature, Vernacular Language, Vernacular Literature, Science, History, Geography and Mathematics (yep, that Devil haunts us from the beginning of Time.).
IN class 6, Science branches into the Holy Trinity: Physics, Chemistry and Biology. And this is the beginning of all my woe. Don't get me wrong; I loved the new things I learnt, but everyone in my family seemed to be particularly curious about my opinions regarding Biology. Admittedly, it felt pretty fascinating to learn about the things inside our body (and it still does), and it all started when my grandfather, very innocently asked whether I liked studying about the human body. I said that of course I did! And then he pronounced: 'Didimoni (he calls me that out of affection, it means a female teacher in Bengali. I know, he's adorable.) will be a Doctor.'
At that time I felt smug and important thinking how awesome it would be to be one. All grave and wearing a stethoscope and asking people to show me their tongues (because that's all I had ever seen them doing), but it was only later (much, much later) that I observed how all doctors had illegible handwriting, were always in a foul mood and had little patience for anything.
Then, of course, I sat for my class 10 Board Examinations, and with the 96.8% I secured, people were even more convinced that I had the makings of good doc, and some of them even joked that they wanted free check ups. Only I don't think they were joking. I come from a long line of hardcore misers. Though these things, as they often do, skip the, er, female genome.
Now I stepped into the big, bad world of High School. Oh no, I wasn't bullied or anything, I was astounded by the amount of studying one had to do to even stay afloat, forget about getting to the top. Even with only 5 subjects (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, English and Mathematics), I have struggled to balance. After class 10, everything seems dreamy and nice, but it's the next two years which actually test you.
Now I am preparing for my class 12 Board Examination, which commences from the 1st of March. And right after they end, I shall embrace a spate of exams (which offer a handful of students, among lakhs, seats at a college) which will only determine the rest of my life. So really, nothing major.
And on top of that, I have my lovely, sweet family at home waiting with bated breath to see if I crack the Pre-Medical Test. Every time there's a family function, new relatives who I haven't seen in ages seem to pop up with the sole reason of asking about my 'plans'.
Broken dreams of uncles. Unfulfilled desires of parents. An overwhelming primal desire to boast about 'my daughter's' achievements to everyone from the milkman to the old, deaf aunty at a cousin's wedding. These are just some of the weights which I've unconsciously picked up, and am carrying around.
I swear, expectation is the heaviest burden.
Oh well, que sera sera.
Ciao for now.
